Elo Vidding (foto Wikipedia)
Mothers' Day
On Mothers' Day every child should sing
and give his mother flowers, and prime ministers think
that every mother wants to be honoured
and all prime ministers dream
that all women who aren't mothers
will feel simply feel rotten
more rotten than ever before,
so the government gives mothers
special advantages
and passes a law on parental salaries
all teachers believe that every mother can be bothered
on Sunday morning at ten o'clock
to come to the Mothers' Day Concert
and every mother regards herself as part of
the social group ’mothers’
and every mother is childishly insulted if no one sings
for her
or people get annoyed at her children’s brutal selfishness
more than about the beautiful two-facedness of society
so that you should be nervous on stage in front of all
thoe mothers
in front of page-boy styled mothers and mothers in hats
and mothers with metallic finish cars
and mothers with nylon handbags and mothers with
carrier bags
and mothers with Saint Laurent shadowed eyes
enterprising hawk-eyed single mothers and ostrich
housewives
and the few clever fathers who stand at the
back of the hall
because they're not allowed to sit they are men and today
the mothers are sitting
because it's so nice so nice to sing to complete strangers
do you know your mother's heart
on Sunday morning ten o'clock in the stuffy hall to the
gurgle of gastric juices
because if we don't sing to the mothers
they will all die off
not from a lack of sleep or hunger for sex
but because we ruined Mothers' Day for them
and we will have a bad conscience
so bad that we can never return to society
the prime minister thinks
that every mother has a heart of gold
on a chain around her neck
that every mother has read child psychology
that every mother is well acquainted with gender release
and with the child's father
that every mother lives in a centrally-heated flat with hot
and cold running water
that every mother is a Hansa Bank customer and dreams
of obtaining a loan
that every mother wears tracksuit bottoms at home and is
slimming
that every mother is happy and every mother ready for
motherhood
that postnatal depression is a mere trifle compared with
the greater joy
which will come in twenty years' time when life has
become six times more expensive
that every mother is healthy and strong and can manage
life without moonshine
that every mother has a stable nervous system and
avoids injections
that every mother knows at least in the sixth month
that she is pregnant
that every mother is older than eighteen years of age
that every mother loves little children
that every mother is a good boss to her children
that every mother sticks her children on the front page of
Women's Own
at the first opportunity
that every mother takes her children to some children's
activity
don't let them fucking-well play with those young
criminals in that sand-pit
that every mother gives her children vegetables and
boiled beef for lunch
that every mother has got on damned well in life
and has not been warped by police thrillers on TV
that every mother has a retired grandfather and a
grandmother who dandles the children on her knee
so that she doesn't ever have to put it in the crèche as
people usually do
that every mother is in fact a human being and every
mother is a woman
and that every mother dreams of nothing else but
becoming a mother
that every mother takes part in the family forum on the
net
that every mother has something to give her child
that every woman regards her offspring as her primary
duty
that every woman lives for others and never for herself
that every woman wants to serve her country and her
people
that every woman wants to get up early in the morning
that every woman can be bothered to wake up six times
a night
that every woman has a bad conscience if she can't
produce enough milk
so necessary for the immune system take a look at the
scientific research
which divides children up into breast-fed ones and sick
ones
that every woman conceives naturally and that every
woman is fertile
that every woman wants to give birth in a maternity
home
that every woman manages to combine a career with
motherhood
that every childless woman regards her life as empty and
incomplete
that every woman rushes headlong to buy a pregnancy
test
when the right time comes when the biological clock
rings relentlessly
she grabs the first best reasonably suitable father
that every woman only wants to talk about her
pregnancy
that every woman afterwards wants to teach the non-
pregnant
that birth is a special experience not especially
unbearable pain
that the three months after birth need to be got used to
that pregnancy isn't an illness, just simply a natural state
of affairs
that hormonal changes don't affect our psyche that much
that hormonal changes are sometimes even enjoyable
that every woman likes her primary biological function
that every woman's behavior is governed by her
primary biological function
that every woman's existence is governed by her primary
biological function
that every woman thinks of this as a trifling problem
if anyone makes a big thing about motherhood
which is so natural
then every problem is, believe you me,
easy to solve by the government and the mothers
themselves
that every supermarket wants
that children honor their mothers
make your mother happy and give her something cheap
something which costs less than 500 crowns
because your mother deserves it
because of you dear child don't buy wrinkle cream
but load some yoghurt, cornflakes or muesli
into your shopping basket
go and ask her for those 300 crowns gift money
and buy her a nice rejuvenation emulsion
every mother enjoys the bargain prices around Mothers'
Day
and doesn't pay the January rent because of Christmas
presents
and every child wants to say thank you
for its existence
a childishly guilty thank-you
and wants say
to the prime minister
thank you that I'm alive
every mother wants to be sublime and noble
and feel that a child's life depends on her
every mother wants to be selfless and not to belly-ache
every mother manages to cope
whenever she wants don't forget whenever she wants
and every mother believes that those who aren't mothers
should be obliged to feel bad about it
because they have nobody simply nobody who in their
old age
will treat them as well as they do now
in a word to pay them back for their trouble
you should always live with recompense in mind
you should always expect recompense
thanks to mothers
as soon as every woman reads women's literature and
dreamy prose
as a time of peace arrives dear people
as no one has claims any more
as we are many and we have plenty of serotonin and
endorphine
as we all get under one another's feet and jump for joy
thanking god
as no one gets irritated any longer or drive people to
despair
then our dear mothers will have fulfilled their mission
and even women writers will get their just rewards
when they have children and when they are nicely
buried
when their creative endeavours are good beautiful and
safe
and when they agree nicely with their readers
or when they suddenly become children's writers
when they are finally steered onto the right way
when they are translated into several languages
and invited to attend seminars
in whose breaks you can eat a sausage roll
and drink coffee from a plastic cup
even the prime-minister knows
that no woman any longer reads poetry
especially that which is inhuman and subversive to
society
and for which no prizes or medals are given
and especially if it is written by quasi-women
and especially when they do it well
yet no one of us can admit it, let's be honest
better write or do something useful
what, let them think for themselves, come on, time to
guess yourself
On Mothers' Day every child should sing
and give their mothers flowers and prime-ministers
know
that mothers are the only ones who listen to their
speeches
because they are mothers
